Hi fellow socially impaired humanoids 🤖
Meeting new people is mildly hard for me, without the help of a little liquid confidence (the alcoholic sort) I probably wouldn’t know half the people I know today. Growing up I was really shy and had one friend throughout the seven years of my primary school career. Then my socially awkward self was sent off to high school in a different town where I didn’t know anyone and I struggled immensly to fit in. Trying to find my way around a new school proved to be much harder than I thought, especially since I was too scared to ask anyone for help. All the children in my grade had basically been friends with eachother since they were in diapers and I stuck out like a sore thumb, I didn’t speak to anyone and when we were placed into our classes my 8th Grade classmates decided they wanted to talk to the new girl. I faintly recall being asked my name and my response was a shy smile, big red face and discovering I was suddenly mute with fear. One of the boys, let’s call him Jim, who I am still in the same class as (and we can’t stand eachother), gave me the nickname Smiley and it stuck for about a half the year. Then slowly faded as my irritation for their immaturity grew and I didn’t bother to hide it. I made one friend that year and it went south very fast, something to do with boys (which I had no interest in at that stage) and from there rumors were spread and kind of rocket launched downwards and I was forced to face the hardships that was bullying. Eventually it got so bad that I was forced to stand up for myself and I am glad that it happened, if it wasn’t for them pushing me to breaking point I would still be holding my tongue and letting people walk all over me. I remember being cornered by most half of my grade, including the familiar faces of my classmates, and finally fighting back as opposed to the usual cry and hide in the bathrooms for the days following. It felt good and gave me the confidence to finally find my voice and it nudged me in the right direction. I finally found myself able to approach people and as such started talking to the school rebels that smoked cigarettes on the sports field during break and smoked pot at my bus stop after school. They were seniors and I was the most junior of the juniors and we vibed like a house on fire, so they took me under their wing and even though their image was bad they were some of the nicest people I have ever met.
Through them I met more people and my social anxiety had lessened to the point of, almost, nonexistence. Even though there were a few bad folks, all the beautifully minded people I met kind of outweighed the bad.
Anxiety rears its ugly head at times (usually when I have to speak on the phone or speaking to staff at restaurants), but I find it a lot easier to talk to strangers now. I can’t start conversations easily but I sure as hell can keep someone brave enough to talk to me entertained.✨
Hope my story awoke the brave soul within your anxious self 💖
Blessed be, babies 🍃